been a while since i wrote here.
wondering what to write.
blank.
breathe.
still blank.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
copycat prayer. thanks daw.
“God, please let your will be done… Let your will be done in my life always. If what I am about to do is not your will, please give me an unrest about it. Please put a stop to it. Lead me in the right path. I want to follow your will. I want to walk in your way…. if this is what you want me to do, please confirm it to me and grant me peace concerning it. Bless the work of my hands and let me glorify and honor you in all that I do. Let me live to testify your goodness. Show me what to do. Lead me where to go. Show me what steps to take. Thank you Lord, because I know your plans for me are for good and not for evil. Thank you because I know you have me on your heart. Thank you because you are my Father and You love me. And I know I have peace in you. Amen.”
-Author Unknown, from Jollynotes.com
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
transition
why is it that we must always aim to better things when things are acceptable the way they are?
Monday, September 12, 2011
525,600 MINUTES
this all too familiar lyric to the very famous song "seasons of love" from the musical "rent" plays in my head.
yes, it has been already a year of kilig and happy moments. sometimes, moments so happy that you just think you could implode and leave traces of yourself everywhere. yet, just like every package, the positives must be peppered with challenges...such as the commitment of finishing things, hanging on and doing stuff even if you dont want to, the peaks and valleys of successes and failures. things that make me thankful to be alive and make me learn more about myself and people close to me.
but all in all, it is worth it.
too fast, i tell you.
sometimes, i just wish i had bottomless supply of brake fluid so that i could put a stop to time. so that i could have time to look around, laugh a bit more, or appreciate moments which i didn't know would become rarities in the future. at other times, i wish i had a time machine so that i could fast forward to the future and be where i think i want to be.
oddly though, when you get to the place where you thought in the past you want to be, it rarely ends up being what you imagine it to be.
so i find myself reflecting on what has been.
in the middle of all the funny-ness of the santol seeds, sucking it up, and prunification, the past 525,600 minutes have all been good. :)
____
4 imchorvs
yes, it has been already a year of kilig and happy moments. sometimes, moments so happy that you just think you could implode and leave traces of yourself everywhere. yet, just like every package, the positives must be peppered with challenges...such as the commitment of finishing things, hanging on and doing stuff even if you dont want to, the peaks and valleys of successes and failures. things that make me thankful to be alive and make me learn more about myself and people close to me.
but all in all, it is worth it.
too fast, i tell you.
sometimes, i just wish i had bottomless supply of brake fluid so that i could put a stop to time. so that i could have time to look around, laugh a bit more, or appreciate moments which i didn't know would become rarities in the future. at other times, i wish i had a time machine so that i could fast forward to the future and be where i think i want to be.
oddly though, when you get to the place where you thought in the past you want to be, it rarely ends up being what you imagine it to be.
so i find myself reflecting on what has been.
in the middle of all the funny-ness of the santol seeds, sucking it up, and prunification, the past 525,600 minutes have all been good. :)
____
4 imchorvs
outwardly aging, inwardly regressing
last saturday, i, along with very close friends of mine, attended the dedication cum birthday party of the children of mrs therese. for the first time in a long time, i saw myself with my former co residents existing in their lives outside medschool: lives as moms, dads, with yayas, running after their children, making sure all the guests were well, coaching their kids regarding how they could best pin the tail on the donkey, carrying their children on their shoulders so that they can get the prime prize during the pabitin, or going with their child to the pool to feel if the water was warm enough for swimming.
gone were the days when we slept in the comfort of the callroom, rooting for american idol, playing guitar hero between referrals at the er. all of a sudden, i was vortexed into the future of grown-uped-ness in the middle of the party.
the weirdest part of the vortex was that i felt the same. i felt cheated that i didn't get to partake of the spaghetti and chicken lollipop and the red hotdog with the marshmallow at the tip of the stick.
i felt like competing for a loot bag. i wanted to play hit the pot and swim with the rest of the kids in the cold weather.
however, as if to prove that these days were over, a single strand of WHITE HAIR distracted me in the middle of the dedication service. as if in a motion of resistance and rebellion, i hastily and forcefully pulled out the white strand of hair.
i called the attention of SAFM and resident-brain-man and said "look oh".
to which they replied "ano yan?"
"white hair." i said.
as if to rub the irreversibility of it all, we did that which we could only do.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
gone were the days when we slept in the comfort of the callroom, rooting for american idol, playing guitar hero between referrals at the er. all of a sudden, i was vortexed into the future of grown-uped-ness in the middle of the party.
the weirdest part of the vortex was that i felt the same. i felt cheated that i didn't get to partake of the spaghetti and chicken lollipop and the red hotdog with the marshmallow at the tip of the stick.
i felt like competing for a loot bag. i wanted to play hit the pot and swim with the rest of the kids in the cold weather.
however, as if to prove that these days were over, a single strand of WHITE HAIR distracted me in the middle of the dedication service. as if in a motion of resistance and rebellion, i hastily and forcefully pulled out the white strand of hair.
i called the attention of SAFM and resident-brain-man and said "look oh".
to which they replied "ano yan?"
"white hair." i said.
as if to rub the irreversibility of it all, we did that which we could only do.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Monday, August 22, 2011
letting go of the excess baggage and "reset"-ing
last weekend, i had a long list of things to do: finish up my researches, pay sun bill, study for the exam...and the list goes on and on.
but i was only able to do one thing.
i reformatted my computer. by myself, but with the help of my brother in law.
it was a very "free-ing" exercise. i was forced to review all the files that i had in my laptop and ended up deleting them all. yes, even those movies (in my life, 50 first dates, my big fat greek wedding, but at the back of my mind i knew i could download them again), the go-sing application with all the songs, the skype and YM application to chat with friends, the i tunes application with all the MP3s. in the end, all i had in my tera-byte external drive were the precious pictures and the researches at hand.
if i could do this with my life, get rid of all the baggage, reset myself once in the while, or at least defrag myself periodically, i think life would have less angst. as a co-fellow put it, life would be much easier if we would not over analyze. or in my head, end up being pack-rats, paying homage to really unnecessary things that we think make us happy, but end up being excess baggage, slowing us down, or taking us away from the things we really deem important.
as a result, i now have a faster laptop. it feels lighter too.
i wish my life could be like this. besides, i need the speed given that i only have 6 months to go in this current exercise. what's MORE... in 9 days, the -ber months will come rolling in.
life is so fast, there is fear in closing my eyes. once i open them i might find myself living the future. but then again, i am excited to move on to the next chapter. with just the necessary baggage in hand. :)
but i was only able to do one thing.
i reformatted my computer. by myself, but with the help of my brother in law.
it was a very "free-ing" exercise. i was forced to review all the files that i had in my laptop and ended up deleting them all. yes, even those movies (in my life, 50 first dates, my big fat greek wedding, but at the back of my mind i knew i could download them again), the go-sing application with all the songs, the skype and YM application to chat with friends, the i tunes application with all the MP3s. in the end, all i had in my tera-byte external drive were the precious pictures and the researches at hand.
if i could do this with my life, get rid of all the baggage, reset myself once in the while, or at least defrag myself periodically, i think life would have less angst. as a co-fellow put it, life would be much easier if we would not over analyze. or in my head, end up being pack-rats, paying homage to really unnecessary things that we think make us happy, but end up being excess baggage, slowing us down, or taking us away from the things we really deem important.
as a result, i now have a faster laptop. it feels lighter too.
i wish my life could be like this. besides, i need the speed given that i only have 6 months to go in this current exercise. what's MORE... in 9 days, the -ber months will come rolling in.
life is so fast, there is fear in closing my eyes. once i open them i might find myself living the future. but then again, i am excited to move on to the next chapter. with just the necessary baggage in hand. :)
SMS saga
to continue the saga...
i went through the chart of our infamous extension-itis patient only to see that the "silip" done by ORL was normal. i called friendly GI batchmate fellow to ask the next best course of action. wel came to the consensus of the EGD. Mura na, Mabilis pa. (sounds like PGH logo).
amidst all the embarrassment, i call up kindhearted towering GI fellow to refer our patient. and then i entered in the chart. which was real funny because the chart looked like this:
ORL: laryngoscopy done, no abnormality. assessment: dysphagia, etiology to be determined.
all of a sudden, there was this misplaced entry:
Renal: please do ECG. Refer to GI. (which i already did.)
The next day, i was plagued with forwarded messages from extension asking why they were spending, why the doctors were taking so long, isn't being a PGH charity patient all about getting things for free.
to which i replied: wala na pong libre ngayon.
good thing, this story has sort of a compensatory comic relief ending. i get a text from kind-hearted towering GI fellow:
GI fellow: smoketh, esophagel foreing body ang nakita. I retrieved it na. santol seend. mukhang nag lodge sa level ng aortic arch. pa xray na rin.
I wasted no time forwarding the message to my closest friends. to hell with confidentiality.
it is a good thing my friends were really my friends. their replies:
frichmond: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
SAFM: I burst into laughter in the middle of thigns when i remember the f ____ ng santol. AHAHAHAHA!
SAFM after 2 hours: f _ _ _! tawang tawa pa rin ako sa santol ahahahaha ahahahaha AHAHAHAHAHAH!
In fairness, extensionitis had her share of SMS as well: good afternoon, po. Dra, maraming salamat po nandito na kame sa bahay. salamat po talaga.
to which i replied....NOTHING!
i went through the chart of our infamous extension-itis patient only to see that the "silip" done by ORL was normal. i called friendly GI batchmate fellow to ask the next best course of action. wel came to the consensus of the EGD. Mura na, Mabilis pa. (sounds like PGH logo).
amidst all the embarrassment, i call up kindhearted towering GI fellow to refer our patient. and then i entered in the chart. which was real funny because the chart looked like this:
ORL: laryngoscopy done, no abnormality. assessment: dysphagia, etiology to be determined.
all of a sudden, there was this misplaced entry:
Renal: please do ECG. Refer to GI. (which i already did.)
The next day, i was plagued with forwarded messages from extension asking why they were spending, why the doctors were taking so long, isn't being a PGH charity patient all about getting things for free.
to which i replied: wala na pong libre ngayon.
good thing, this story has sort of a compensatory comic relief ending. i get a text from kind-hearted towering GI fellow:
GI fellow: smoketh, esophagel foreing body ang nakita. I retrieved it na. santol seend. mukhang nag lodge sa level ng aortic arch. pa xray na rin.
I wasted no time forwarding the message to my closest friends. to hell with confidentiality.
it is a good thing my friends were really my friends. their replies:
frichmond: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
SAFM: I burst into laughter in the middle of thigns when i remember the f ____ ng santol. AHAHAHAHA!
SAFM after 2 hours: f _ _ _! tawang tawa pa rin ako sa santol ahahahaha ahahahaha AHAHAHAHAHAH!
In fairness, extensionitis had her share of SMS as well: good afternoon, po. Dra, maraming salamat po nandito na kame sa bahay. salamat po talaga.
to which i replied....NOTHING!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
disclaimer: names of the characters have been changed to protect their identity.
it has been a while since i visited my blog...but with events of today, i find the need to document in my blog suck it up. such is life. even as we live it, there are certain events that happen which are so UNBELIEVABLE that we would just have to laugh at it in order for it to have good comic index and for the experience to have high value.
sayang sa time kung di tayo tumawa.
the following is such an event.
today i got a text from my dad: "sir magandang hapon po. john po ito. sir baka pede niyo naman po tulungan papa ko kasi mag iisang linggo na po siyang hindi nakakakain. kahit po tubig ininusuka niya agad. Parang awa niyo na sir, tulunggan (yes, spelled this way) niyo naman po kami. Marissa, please help Mr. Dioqno. Daddy JT Lim"
I read the message twice and sounds of crickets came into mind. I don't know if i was suffering short term memory loss, or if i was stuck in an alternate universe. yes, the text came from my dad but i really didn't get the message. he was referring to jonathan or mr diocton as if they were our closest family friends, but i had NO idea who they were.
I didn't know what to say. so i texted the obvious.
i replied a curt, nose-wrinkling, alta-toned reply with a hint of disgust and distaste: "who's that?"
my dad replied: "Mr. Dioqno, father of Marjorie and husband of Mama Mary Dioqno of Pateros"
pause.
then, it made made sense. but it turned my life into a funnier, twilight zone-ier life.
if you get this story, then you are included in my circle of closest friends. hehehe.
i did all that i could to stop myself from rolling on the floor laughing. i was living my life everyday, but even then, i could not believe that this was happening.
so of course, i performed all my doctorly functions to that patient. later on, i get a message saying "mamamatay na siya" and "cancer, baka cancer, kung kailangan ng CT scan, sagutin mo muna, babayaran ko!" OMG. Then as it turns out, this Mr. Dioqno is a 56 (take note, 56 is really way less than 70) year old male who is ambulatory and very fit, walking to our ER. talk about near death. so i endorsed him to the ER officer and instructed them to text me if there was a problem.
to hellellell with these doctorly functions which i want to get out of. i have no obligation to these people. but just like that, i was vortexed into a family i really didn't want to get into.
but then again, we are taught, early in life, to suck it up.
so i did.
it has been a while since i visited my blog...but with events of today, i find the need to document in my blog suck it up. such is life. even as we live it, there are certain events that happen which are so UNBELIEVABLE that we would just have to laugh at it in order for it to have good comic index and for the experience to have high value.
sayang sa time kung di tayo tumawa.
the following is such an event.
today i got a text from my dad: "sir magandang hapon po. john po ito. sir baka pede niyo naman po tulungan papa ko kasi mag iisang linggo na po siyang hindi nakakakain. kahit po tubig ininusuka niya agad. Parang awa niyo na sir, tulunggan (yes, spelled this way) niyo naman po kami. Marissa, please help Mr. Dioqno. Daddy JT Lim"
I read the message twice and sounds of crickets came into mind. I don't know if i was suffering short term memory loss, or if i was stuck in an alternate universe. yes, the text came from my dad but i really didn't get the message. he was referring to jonathan or mr diocton as if they were our closest family friends, but i had NO idea who they were.
I didn't know what to say. so i texted the obvious.
i replied a curt, nose-wrinkling, alta-toned reply with a hint of disgust and distaste: "who's that?"
my dad replied: "Mr. Dioqno, father of Marjorie and husband of Mama Mary Dioqno of Pateros"
pause.
then, it made made sense. but it turned my life into a funnier, twilight zone-ier life.
if you get this story, then you are included in my circle of closest friends. hehehe.
i did all that i could to stop myself from rolling on the floor laughing. i was living my life everyday, but even then, i could not believe that this was happening.
so of course, i performed all my doctorly functions to that patient. later on, i get a message saying "mamamatay na siya" and "cancer, baka cancer, kung kailangan ng CT scan, sagutin mo muna, babayaran ko!" OMG. Then as it turns out, this Mr. Dioqno is a 56 (take note, 56 is really way less than 70) year old male who is ambulatory and very fit, walking to our ER. talk about near death. so i endorsed him to the ER officer and instructed them to text me if there was a problem.
to hellellell with these doctorly functions which i want to get out of. i have no obligation to these people. but just like that, i was vortexed into a family i really didn't want to get into.
but then again, we are taught, early in life, to suck it up.
so i did.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
superlatives
good food and good trips become better with great company.
bitter rantings become better when done regularly with best friends.
the goal for life is to live not just comparatives, but superlatives.
bow.
bitter rantings become better when done regularly with best friends.
the goal for life is to live not just comparatives, but superlatives.
bow.
moldy bread
i have always maintained that persons are like bread.
bread has different shelf lives. there are breads that last for just a day, breads that are available at the grocery store for half the price off when the bakery is about to close so that they would get sold out and hopefully consumed before the mold comes and makes the bread all bad. there are breads that last for weeks on end.
since the bread has different expiration dates, it is important to determine when best to consume them before they go bad.
such is hellowship life. some of the wisest people i know got out of training just before they expired. much to my frustration, i failed to realize that my expiration date was stamped on my forehead dated 2010.
but i pushed the bread in me. beyond the limit.
hence i am now moldy bread. no amount of saran wrap can keep away the molds from the decaying bread.
still, there are a lot of hungry people out there who are willing to partake of ANY kind of bread, even if it is moldy.
i don't know if that is good or not.
why can't we just become like wine? gets better with age...
bread has different shelf lives. there are breads that last for just a day, breads that are available at the grocery store for half the price off when the bakery is about to close so that they would get sold out and hopefully consumed before the mold comes and makes the bread all bad. there are breads that last for weeks on end.
since the bread has different expiration dates, it is important to determine when best to consume them before they go bad.
such is hellowship life. some of the wisest people i know got out of training just before they expired. much to my frustration, i failed to realize that my expiration date was stamped on my forehead dated 2010.
but i pushed the bread in me. beyond the limit.
hence i am now moldy bread. no amount of saran wrap can keep away the molds from the decaying bread.
still, there are a lot of hungry people out there who are willing to partake of ANY kind of bread, even if it is moldy.
i don't know if that is good or not.
why can't we just become like wine? gets better with age...
Monday, July 18, 2011
discriminate
it is tough to discriminate between the following:
1. sadness
2. boredom
3. dissatisfaction
they all feel the same.
but give it time, the distinguishing factor often reveals itself after waiting patiently.
but there is only one solution.
lur.
1. sadness
2. boredom
3. dissatisfaction
they all feel the same.
but give it time, the distinguishing factor often reveals itself after waiting patiently.
but there is only one solution.
lur.
push over
because i am the ultimate push over, i am now writing a blog after my long sabbatical...thanks to the nudge of special agent.
i post a query: have you you every felt so sad and dissatisfied that the sadness and dissatisfaction just sticks to you like saran wrap and that you don't notice it anymore? until you find that nothing perks you up further.
what to do, what to do?
no connection. random thoughts only.
and on the random thought train...to my friends, thanks for the aging tribute.
the writer in me has decayed.
i post a query: have you you every felt so sad and dissatisfied that the sadness and dissatisfaction just sticks to you like saran wrap and that you don't notice it anymore? until you find that nothing perks you up further.
what to do, what to do?
no connection. random thoughts only.
and on the random thought train...to my friends, thanks for the aging tribute.
the writer in me has decayed.
Friday, November 26, 2010
mukhang pera
call it aging or maturing. or materialism. or pagka-mukhang pera.
sometimes i think that wanting money is synonymous to being old. gone were the days when simple free pleasures of playing patintero or agawan base would make someone's day. we are so into consumerism that our being popular or in the loop is determined by the acquisitions we have. be it laptops, cameras, i-touch, i-phones, mac laptops, capacity to eat in posh restaurants, having glorious flushes in the bathroom or perfectly shiny tiled floors in shower areas.
yes, these are the things that my comrades and i dream about. things that our non med friends are able to purchase at as single whim. whereas or other RICH friends can just go to the mall when they want to and swipe a card to get their heart's desire and a shopping high, my friends and i would often just stare, green with envy, and wish that "sana mayaman na ako para makakain na ako ng sushi when i want."
when will this time come, i wonder?
case in point. yesterday, when i was walking home in the poverty stricken streets of maria orosa, SAFM then asks my advice about buying an I-touch...a craze in his batch as of yet. call this a last hurrah given that they will be receiving the last remnants of their hard earned salary in the next month. call it the voice of uncertainty given that they will be entering the world of fellowship where the shriek of "fictitious sweldo!" or "wala na akong pera!" reverberate through the halls.
as such, i gave him this advice:
SIU: SAFM, buy buy buy. by this time next year, you won't have any money left, and you'll REGRET not buying it. besides, would you not want to feel the high of buying something and then making it haplos? why do you want to buy the i-touch anyway?
SAFM: because its...so beautiful (with lust in his eyes)
SIU: buy buy buy! do you want me to come with you to buy it?
SAFM: (look of hesitation) won't i regret that i spent my money?
so fine. he didn't buy it.
fast forward to today, i take a look at him with such inggit in his eyes, looking at google pages evaluating the i-touch and dreeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaming about it.
and then he goes:
SAFM: if i have two gigabytes of storage, i don't have to erase songs for days on end. and pam bought one. should i buy one?
get it over and done with, SAFM. buy buy buy. then let me go with you to buy it so that i can get my vicarious thrills!
what the Helelelelell is stopping you?
sometimes i think that wanting money is synonymous to being old. gone were the days when simple free pleasures of playing patintero or agawan base would make someone's day. we are so into consumerism that our being popular or in the loop is determined by the acquisitions we have. be it laptops, cameras, i-touch, i-phones, mac laptops, capacity to eat in posh restaurants, having glorious flushes in the bathroom or perfectly shiny tiled floors in shower areas.
yes, these are the things that my comrades and i dream about. things that our non med friends are able to purchase at as single whim. whereas or other RICH friends can just go to the mall when they want to and swipe a card to get their heart's desire and a shopping high, my friends and i would often just stare, green with envy, and wish that "sana mayaman na ako para makakain na ako ng sushi when i want."
when will this time come, i wonder?
case in point. yesterday, when i was walking home in the poverty stricken streets of maria orosa, SAFM then asks my advice about buying an I-touch...a craze in his batch as of yet. call this a last hurrah given that they will be receiving the last remnants of their hard earned salary in the next month. call it the voice of uncertainty given that they will be entering the world of fellowship where the shriek of "fictitious sweldo!" or "wala na akong pera!" reverberate through the halls.
as such, i gave him this advice:
SIU: SAFM, buy buy buy. by this time next year, you won't have any money left, and you'll REGRET not buying it. besides, would you not want to feel the high of buying something and then making it haplos? why do you want to buy the i-touch anyway?
SAFM: because its...so beautiful (with lust in his eyes)
SIU: buy buy buy! do you want me to come with you to buy it?
SAFM: (look of hesitation) won't i regret that i spent my money?
so fine. he didn't buy it.
fast forward to today, i take a look at him with such inggit in his eyes, looking at google pages evaluating the i-touch and dreeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaming about it.
and then he goes:
SAFM: if i have two gigabytes of storage, i don't have to erase songs for days on end. and pam bought one. should i buy one?
get it over and done with, SAFM. buy buy buy. then let me go with you to buy it so that i can get my vicarious thrills!
what the Helelelelell is stopping you?
Monday, November 22, 2010
chooooooooooooorva
reviewing my blogs, i find that ALL MY BLOGS reflect negativity.
however, on self introspection, i note that i have indeed MADE it because i find FAKING it has been scoring lower than the MAKING it in that imaginary scoreboard i have in my head.
and it's because of (here it comes, for more cheeeeze!) chorvs.
i never though i would cross over to the point of highly recommending it, but i do.
don't get me wrong. it still give me goosebumps of eeew blogging about this, given that i used to be such a negativist in this aspect. however, though i didn't believe that it could happen to me, it did. hence, if it happened to me, it can happen to anyone. i guess the race to five is more worthwhile given that i could spend it with friends, but having chorvs to spend it with further increases the motivation. for reasons unexplained, things i used to think defined me took the back seat. career just became career (ok fine, i may be fibbing a bit), and weekends became more valueable than gold. thanks to chorvs. (thanks chorvs!)
hence, i now practice the art of convincing a real good friend of mine to join the bandwagon. but i am failing miserably.
chorvs always tells me that everything comes at the perfect time. perfect timing.
so to you, dear friend, who says yes, but non verbally says no, maybe it is not yet your time.
but i patiently await the time when i will see you giddy giddy giddy. with chorva! (refer back to your blog with chorva and the japanese people.)
go na kasi!
however, on self introspection, i note that i have indeed MADE it because i find FAKING it has been scoring lower than the MAKING it in that imaginary scoreboard i have in my head.
and it's because of (here it comes, for more cheeeeze!) chorvs.
i never though i would cross over to the point of highly recommending it, but i do.
don't get me wrong. it still give me goosebumps of eeew blogging about this, given that i used to be such a negativist in this aspect. however, though i didn't believe that it could happen to me, it did. hence, if it happened to me, it can happen to anyone. i guess the race to five is more worthwhile given that i could spend it with friends, but having chorvs to spend it with further increases the motivation. for reasons unexplained, things i used to think defined me took the back seat. career just became career (ok fine, i may be fibbing a bit), and weekends became more valueable than gold. thanks to chorvs. (thanks chorvs!)
hence, i now practice the art of convincing a real good friend of mine to join the bandwagon. but i am failing miserably.
chorvs always tells me that everything comes at the perfect time. perfect timing.
so to you, dear friend, who says yes, but non verbally says no, maybe it is not yet your time.
but i patiently await the time when i will see you giddy giddy giddy. with chorva! (refer back to your blog with chorva and the japanese people.)
go na kasi!
angst
same people change over a span of years. imagine being friends with people for close to 10 years. one is bound to see change.
let me illustrate. this month has been life saving for me as i rotate in the intense but caring units of the hospital. (get a clue.) we intensely care for sick patients, but it has been positively providential for me to be in this environment because i find myself in the daily company of two of my closest competitor friends, namely SAFM (in the flesh! i think we should rename him as HT for hearth-throb) and Mrs G3. through rounds with patients can get gruelling and at times exasperating, there is always a point of comfort when i would sit down to write in the charts and be accompanied by these two friends of mine. i could just close my eyes and pretend that we are al still in our med uniforms fussing about age old med school concerns. the usual opening lines early in the morning that come from them are the ff:
SAFM: lur?
Mrs G3: o anong kwento?
All together now: ayoko na pumasok! nakakatamad pumasok!
this is so reminiscent of all the years we spent from the anatomy lab to the patho lab to classes in 222 or endless hours of monitoring. however, over the years, i have noticed the decay that we all went through. yes, we matured. our concerns changed. Mrs G3 is now G3 and SAFM is a responsible doctor son on top of being a heart throb. however, i have noticed that all our exchanges are peppered by fury on top of fury on top of FURY.
case in point:
1. blalalablalalala. he talks to much. argh!
2. i don't know why, but X had no referrals. Y had no referrals. Z had no referrals. when i was on duty, i had so many referrals! wah!
3. ang daldal ng babae sa jeep, nakakabingi!
4. nakakainis ang baha!
5. sana bumagyo bukas, para walang pasok!
6. lang hiyang meeting yan. iniwan ko tuloy ang sisig ko sa baba.
so much angst. but on the outside, we still make panggap that we are still those happy go lucky people that we once were.
is this the price of aging, of being surrounded by pooooooooorita people? or always being at the receiving end of the neediest beings of the universe?
i haven't the slightest clue.
i wish back for the days when our problem was who would take the weekend duty or who would be assigned to compile those transcriptions for class.
and for more angst: THOSE DAYS ARE LONG GONE.
wallow. it's a good thing that the three of us can wallow together.
let me illustrate. this month has been life saving for me as i rotate in the intense but caring units of the hospital. (get a clue.) we intensely care for sick patients, but it has been positively providential for me to be in this environment because i find myself in the daily company of two of my closest competitor friends, namely SAFM (in the flesh! i think we should rename him as HT for hearth-throb) and Mrs G3. through rounds with patients can get gruelling and at times exasperating, there is always a point of comfort when i would sit down to write in the charts and be accompanied by these two friends of mine. i could just close my eyes and pretend that we are al still in our med uniforms fussing about age old med school concerns. the usual opening lines early in the morning that come from them are the ff:
SAFM: lur?
Mrs G3: o anong kwento?
All together now: ayoko na pumasok! nakakatamad pumasok!
this is so reminiscent of all the years we spent from the anatomy lab to the patho lab to classes in 222 or endless hours of monitoring. however, over the years, i have noticed the decay that we all went through. yes, we matured. our concerns changed. Mrs G3 is now G3 and SAFM is a responsible doctor son on top of being a heart throb. however, i have noticed that all our exchanges are peppered by fury on top of fury on top of FURY.
case in point:
1. blalalablalalala. he talks to much. argh!
2. i don't know why, but X had no referrals. Y had no referrals. Z had no referrals. when i was on duty, i had so many referrals! wah!
3. ang daldal ng babae sa jeep, nakakabingi!
4. nakakainis ang baha!
5. sana bumagyo bukas, para walang pasok!
6. lang hiyang meeting yan. iniwan ko tuloy ang sisig ko sa baba.
so much angst. but on the outside, we still make panggap that we are still those happy go lucky people that we once were.
is this the price of aging, of being surrounded by pooooooooorita people? or always being at the receiving end of the neediest beings of the universe?
i haven't the slightest clue.
i wish back for the days when our problem was who would take the weekend duty or who would be assigned to compile those transcriptions for class.
and for more angst: THOSE DAYS ARE LONG GONE.
wallow. it's a good thing that the three of us can wallow together.
google got it all!
last friday, i was busy (as in hyper mode) cramming for an assignment that was given to us about diuretics (drugs that make you pee) and different info about them. as usual, i counted on my cramming powers to complete the assignment along with our pharmacology text. however, when i wanted information as fast as the eye could blink, i resorted to google. and thanks to this magic page, i finished the homework in the nick of time. the time was so "nicked", in fact, that i was able to pass the homework at 1153 pm (or so my colleagues said) when the deadline was at 1155 pm. hahahaha. thanks to the support of certain people, (you know who you are!) for cheering me on.
i digress, though, from the main topic of this blog. SAFM and i were discussing how i could have gotten through the entire exercise of completing the assignment if internet were not yet available. i nonchalantly answer "card catalog!" but thank goodness, we don't have to resort to archaic (and asthma inducing) tiny drawers of the card catalog or migraine-inducing numbers of the dewey decimal system, thanks to google.
i mean, facebook is really a great invention, but i think google outdoes facebook by a mile! to illustrate, here are the various uses of google that were really life changing for me.
1. as mentioned, my pharma assignment.
2.
back in senior year, people were so into calorie counting for an impending fashion show we were to have at the time. (advertising, please watch the doctor is in the runway, sunday december 28!) here is an exchange a batchmate and i had.
enj: (while eating a banana coming from a piling in the callroom. pf banana.) ilan kaya ang calories ng saging.
SIU: we can always google it! (googles away, types while saying out loud...) how many calories are there in a banana?
and this link from google comes up! http://www.weightlossforall.com/calories-banana.htm AMAZING!
3.
endless mp3 searching and downloading for ipod music appreciation and sentihan purposes.
4.
of course, there are endless EBM things we have to do wherein we start from a clinical scenario and then proceed to search for an article to answer the clinical question that we have. however, many of my friends would know that i would EBM the SIU way with the following steps:
a. google for an article. for example, if i want to write on comparison between naproxen and mefenamic acid, i could probably use the search term through google: naproxen mefenamic acid full text free article.
b. click and download article
c. THEN create a clinical question
d. and EBM backwards
e. THEN go to pubmed and use the search terms so that the article i initially googled would come up in the search page!
smart eh?
5.
real life needs:
this conversation ensues between TOE (term of endearment) and me.
TOE: (sun cellular call) TOE, i have a favor to ask, pero it's quite nakakahiya. (sosyal!)
SIU: ano yun? game na.
TOE: i need to make a phone call, but i ran out of load. okay lang papasa load sa sun?
SIU: huh? ok sure. pano gawin yun?
TOE: oh no, di ko alam.
SIU: ok, will call sun customer service and find out. (Calls customer service, puuuuuuuuuuure tagal. light bulb idea: we can use google! types in while saying out load) pasa load through sun cellular.
and this site comes up: http://www.rechargemobilephones.com/ph/sun-cellular/sun-give-a-load/.
so my websites of choice, in order of priority, are as follows:
1. google.
2. facebook: for stalking and updating oneself. as a wise friend said, why read the newspaper, when you can read THE WALL?
3. yout tube for entertainment.
4. wikipedia. if i want to sound smart.
thank god we don't have to resort to the flinstonian card catalog anymore.
i digress, though, from the main topic of this blog. SAFM and i were discussing how i could have gotten through the entire exercise of completing the assignment if internet were not yet available. i nonchalantly answer "card catalog!" but thank goodness, we don't have to resort to archaic (and asthma inducing) tiny drawers of the card catalog or migraine-inducing numbers of the dewey decimal system, thanks to google.
i mean, facebook is really a great invention, but i think google outdoes facebook by a mile! to illustrate, here are the various uses of google that were really life changing for me.
1. as mentioned, my pharma assignment.
2.
back in senior year, people were so into calorie counting for an impending fashion show we were to have at the time. (advertising, please watch the doctor is in the runway, sunday december 28!) here is an exchange a batchmate and i had.
enj: (while eating a banana coming from a piling in the callroom. pf banana.) ilan kaya ang calories ng saging.
SIU: we can always google it! (googles away, types while saying out loud...) how many calories are there in a banana?
and this link from google comes up! http://www.weightlossforall.com/calories-banana.htm AMAZING!
3.
endless mp3 searching and downloading for ipod music appreciation and sentihan purposes.
4.
of course, there are endless EBM things we have to do wherein we start from a clinical scenario and then proceed to search for an article to answer the clinical question that we have. however, many of my friends would know that i would EBM the SIU way with the following steps:
a. google for an article. for example, if i want to write on comparison between naproxen and mefenamic acid, i could probably use the search term through google: naproxen mefenamic acid full text free article.
b. click and download article
c. THEN create a clinical question
d. and EBM backwards
e. THEN go to pubmed and use the search terms so that the article i initially googled would come up in the search page!
smart eh?
5.
real life needs:
this conversation ensues between TOE (term of endearment) and me.
TOE: (sun cellular call) TOE, i have a favor to ask, pero it's quite nakakahiya. (sosyal!)
SIU: ano yun? game na.
TOE: i need to make a phone call, but i ran out of load. okay lang papasa load sa sun?
SIU: huh? ok sure. pano gawin yun?
TOE: oh no, di ko alam.
SIU: ok, will call sun customer service and find out. (Calls customer service, puuuuuuuuuuure tagal. light bulb idea: we can use google! types in while saying out load) pasa load through sun cellular.
and this site comes up: http://www.rechargemobilephones.com/ph/sun-cellular/sun-give-a-load/.
so my websites of choice, in order of priority, are as follows:
1. google.
2. facebook: for stalking and updating oneself. as a wise friend said, why read the newspaper, when you can read THE WALL?
3. yout tube for entertainment.
4. wikipedia. if i want to sound smart.
thank god we don't have to resort to the flinstonian card catalog anymore.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
i am so hhhhhhhhhhhhonored!
let me tell you about this friend of mine. i have this friend of almost 10 years now, and i honestly think that he is the best writer in the world. i followed a lot of his literature from facebook...to blogspot....to philippine free press....to philippine star. i ogled at his ability to come up with the greatest literary masterpieces with a flourish (drumroll please!) at lightning speed.
at the same time, i find myself in awe that we have grown up together. yes, in the past, he always fantasized about having that bat signal in his lowly, run-down apartment so that he can flash it when he runs out or rice to eat to his next door neighbor. he used to be real quiet, and would not make eye contact with anyone, even if some small eye contact would have meant that he would have probably landed the 21st slot!
but now, have you heard about the statement the baby is now a lady? ok, di naman siya bading. people stalk him, his blogs, etc. he is now known all over the planet as the senior resident who carries a bag. what a status symbol! and he still mingles with me! a low life! and what's more, he never says no this invite: (beep beep of text message!) lur?
imagine the feeling of honor i had, when this best writer i know said these words: can i feature your blog? i think it has enough content and wit to warrant a feature.
aw. talk about mutual admiration society. well, we do have to find ways to be validated. even if he may be patronizing me a bit. thanks special agent!
i am so hhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrred!
at the same time, i find myself in awe that we have grown up together. yes, in the past, he always fantasized about having that bat signal in his lowly, run-down apartment so that he can flash it when he runs out or rice to eat to his next door neighbor. he used to be real quiet, and would not make eye contact with anyone, even if some small eye contact would have meant that he would have probably landed the 21st slot!
but now, have you heard about the statement the baby is now a lady? ok, di naman siya bading. people stalk him, his blogs, etc. he is now known all over the planet as the senior resident who carries a bag. what a status symbol! and he still mingles with me! a low life! and what's more, he never says no this invite: (beep beep of text message!) lur?
imagine the feeling of honor i had, when this best writer i know said these words: can i feature your blog? i think it has enough content and wit to warrant a feature.
aw. talk about mutual admiration society. well, we do have to find ways to be validated. even if he may be patronizing me a bit. thanks special agent!
i am so hhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrred!
heart-wrenching humor, lacrimous laughter
thanks to the procrastination gene embedded in my body, i find myself reading the blogs of my closest facetime friends when i should be doing my diuretic homewor. i find a common theme magnetizing me to each of the entries in each of the blogs of my facetime friends. it is the heart-wrenching humor, and the lacrimous laughter. i empathize with them all. though the words are different, the recurrent theme is the same. dissatisfaction.
let me elaborate by this topic sentence. i messaged a dear friend of mine: the sad thing about our life is that i think we can do anything and be anywhere, good or bad, as long as we have good company to have these happy or irritating things with. as long as we have our comic index friends 24-7, we are okay. sadly, as of now, this is not the case.
hence, i can identify with them all. BOTD. HTGOF. SAFM. i love you all. (cheeziness.)
it is amazing how we find the littlest things to dissect and blog about to add interest to our lives. but in a way, it is pretty therapeutic. it puts things into perspective. sure, there are sad things in the world such as being screamed at, being inadequate, a patient dying, etc. things we have no control over.
but there are the humorous things that can push us by and let us survive the to the end of the day. weirdly named people. talks about impending blind dates. the clamor for couple-hood for my now grown up and heart throb friend. how one voltage, when it is gigantic can have more sips in them that the tiny voltage making you actually want to buy the big one. how facetime is so interesing especially when your company laughs so loud that he snorts and actually pushes you to ask "what?" and you share webpages and laugh together. out loud. or how a sun cellular cell call from far away about nothingness actually perks up your day. how those loud koryans provide two seconds of silence as a patibong into you thinking that they actually shut up and then they rush into more loud, gurgly, koryan speech that makes you want to open an umbrella and take cover. how you make small talk with that guy who takes the best seat in the coffee shop (because it is the one closest to the sockets) and actually make a new friend because he notices that you are probably med students (ah, flattery!) and share a bit of each others lives. how the new friend looks like chorvs (according to SAFM), no wonder there is that little kilig factor in the small exchange. (i think i hear vomiting now.) how there is a possiblity of an impending cultural delight that goes beyond musical appreciation classes through ipods and computers. yes, let us watch something cultural at CCP before the current batch of seniors graduate.
these are the things i miss in the work place. maybe this is why i always have the amazing race to five pm. for these useless things that will open up my fantasy world outside being a workhorse in the biggest public hospital in the country. where i am the lowliest servant to the poorest of the poor, even when in my heart of hearts, i want to become rich!
to conclude, this blog is dedicated to you, BOTD. it is the same all over. whether you are here in the shore. or whether you are abroad. it is the same all over. at least we can all race to five pm and rush to our cyber world and laugh together. we aren't really gone. we are just a click away. aww.
cue: all together now! teardrop. ahahahahahahahaha! for more bipolarity. lithium please!
let me elaborate by this topic sentence. i messaged a dear friend of mine: the sad thing about our life is that i think we can do anything and be anywhere, good or bad, as long as we have good company to have these happy or irritating things with. as long as we have our comic index friends 24-7, we are okay. sadly, as of now, this is not the case.
hence, i can identify with them all. BOTD. HTGOF. SAFM. i love you all. (cheeziness.)
it is amazing how we find the littlest things to dissect and blog about to add interest to our lives. but in a way, it is pretty therapeutic. it puts things into perspective. sure, there are sad things in the world such as being screamed at, being inadequate, a patient dying, etc. things we have no control over.
but there are the humorous things that can push us by and let us survive the to the end of the day. weirdly named people. talks about impending blind dates. the clamor for couple-hood for my now grown up and heart throb friend. how one voltage, when it is gigantic can have more sips in them that the tiny voltage making you actually want to buy the big one. how facetime is so interesing especially when your company laughs so loud that he snorts and actually pushes you to ask "what?" and you share webpages and laugh together. out loud. or how a sun cellular cell call from far away about nothingness actually perks up your day. how those loud koryans provide two seconds of silence as a patibong into you thinking that they actually shut up and then they rush into more loud, gurgly, koryan speech that makes you want to open an umbrella and take cover. how you make small talk with that guy who takes the best seat in the coffee shop (because it is the one closest to the sockets) and actually make a new friend because he notices that you are probably med students (ah, flattery!) and share a bit of each others lives. how the new friend looks like chorvs (according to SAFM), no wonder there is that little kilig factor in the small exchange. (i think i hear vomiting now.) how there is a possiblity of an impending cultural delight that goes beyond musical appreciation classes through ipods and computers. yes, let us watch something cultural at CCP before the current batch of seniors graduate.
these are the things i miss in the work place. maybe this is why i always have the amazing race to five pm. for these useless things that will open up my fantasy world outside being a workhorse in the biggest public hospital in the country. where i am the lowliest servant to the poorest of the poor, even when in my heart of hearts, i want to become rich!
to conclude, this blog is dedicated to you, BOTD. it is the same all over. whether you are here in the shore. or whether you are abroad. it is the same all over. at least we can all race to five pm and rush to our cyber world and laugh together. we aren't really gone. we are just a click away. aww.
cue: all together now! teardrop. ahahahahahahahaha! for more bipolarity. lithium please!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
two categories of ranting receivers
ranting is such a part of daily life. other people view it as a chore. or something nega. or sinful even.
pardon me readers, but this is one person who views ranting as completely delicious. and free! one can indulge in continuous ranting day after day and be envigorated by it. especially when rants on top of rants are present in a conversation that there is a confusion regarding what rant is the topic sentence anyway. then you have a delicious, delectable web of rants to die for...and to get chismis from, as a secondary objective.
however, i have learned in this during the recent year. in order for ranting to be incredibly delicious, heartwarming and cathartic, one most rant to the proper person. as i so simply categorize rant receivers, i find that i must be in the company of number 1 and NOT number 2.
1. PRR: posi rant receivers. these are the people whom you'd want to rant with the best. in my case, this can be chorvs, my high comic index facetime friends at geej, competitiors who lost at canteen, or my pal ler friends at apl. these are the people who listen deliciously at the barrage of words lost in translation in the pure high-ness of the rant, who utter exactly the right words when you want to, and who just laugh in the proper pauses thereby resulting in the release of all the negatively pent up energy and provides you with the positive energy that you need to go through the entire day. they season your ranting with such wit that they are worthy of being chronicled on blogspot walls. they are the ones who rant back and cause you to laugh at their misfortunes which put your misfortunes into perspective. and they don't take offense. and you laugh your heart out causing more rush of endorphins and then cycles on to more ranting. ah, the beautiful ranting cycle.
2. NRR: nega rant receivers. these are the emotional vampires who make gatong and make you feel worse / more guilty / or lower than fungus than when you started. you start to deliciously rant away and they give you bad looks. or they say "ah wala yan, ako...rant rant rant" thereby stealing the precious spotlight away from you. you are then forced to keep your ranting within you and top it off with more ranting regarding these NRRs in the planet. hence, ranting cycle broken. sad.
therefore. advice: always rant to PRR. because your rantings, which was just like say, delicious leche flan at the start, will transmogrify into say...a spirals buffet. which will make you want to rant more. and better yet, it's free!
rant away on my comment wall!
pardon me readers, but this is one person who views ranting as completely delicious. and free! one can indulge in continuous ranting day after day and be envigorated by it. especially when rants on top of rants are present in a conversation that there is a confusion regarding what rant is the topic sentence anyway. then you have a delicious, delectable web of rants to die for...and to get chismis from, as a secondary objective.
however, i have learned in this during the recent year. in order for ranting to be incredibly delicious, heartwarming and cathartic, one most rant to the proper person. as i so simply categorize rant receivers, i find that i must be in the company of number 1 and NOT number 2.
1. PRR: posi rant receivers. these are the people whom you'd want to rant with the best. in my case, this can be chorvs, my high comic index facetime friends at geej, competitiors who lost at canteen, or my pal ler friends at apl. these are the people who listen deliciously at the barrage of words lost in translation in the pure high-ness of the rant, who utter exactly the right words when you want to, and who just laugh in the proper pauses thereby resulting in the release of all the negatively pent up energy and provides you with the positive energy that you need to go through the entire day. they season your ranting with such wit that they are worthy of being chronicled on blogspot walls. they are the ones who rant back and cause you to laugh at their misfortunes which put your misfortunes into perspective. and they don't take offense. and you laugh your heart out causing more rush of endorphins and then cycles on to more ranting. ah, the beautiful ranting cycle.
2. NRR: nega rant receivers. these are the emotional vampires who make gatong and make you feel worse / more guilty / or lower than fungus than when you started. you start to deliciously rant away and they give you bad looks. or they say "ah wala yan, ako...rant rant rant" thereby stealing the precious spotlight away from you. you are then forced to keep your ranting within you and top it off with more ranting regarding these NRRs in the planet. hence, ranting cycle broken. sad.
therefore. advice: always rant to PRR. because your rantings, which was just like say, delicious leche flan at the start, will transmogrify into say...a spirals buffet. which will make you want to rant more. and better yet, it's free!
rant away on my comment wall!
sleepeth
have been out of the loop for a while because i have not connected to internet since last week. i have spent most of my good time sleeping. ah, sleep!
i am a true and honest believer of the curative powers of sleep. wherever you are. whether it is in a moving vehicle and you are rushing to work from house. the rush disappears...when you sleep. when you have a thousand things to do and you feel sleepy, the things you do disappear (for the meantime)...when you sleep. when you are sick, all the phlegm and feeling of tiredness disappears (all together now!)...when you sleep.
however, extreme sleepiness, whether day time or night time, comes at a very extreme opportunity cost. instead of gimiking or smokething with friends, sleep can steal the night and turn tonight into tomorrow. instead of being able to check all the things you have to do, the thousand items on your checklist still remain a thousand. instead of playing and frolicking with chorvs or pamangkins, dreamland can be that temptress that steals all these away. it can even push the possible blog entries into the deepest recesses of the mind to nothingness...and i end up with no blogs.
i hope that all the hours i have spent during the week sleeping will enable me to remain awake for all the happy things, even at the price of sucking things up when at work.
i am a true and honest believer of the curative powers of sleep. wherever you are. whether it is in a moving vehicle and you are rushing to work from house. the rush disappears...when you sleep. when you have a thousand things to do and you feel sleepy, the things you do disappear (for the meantime)...when you sleep. when you are sick, all the phlegm and feeling of tiredness disappears (all together now!)...when you sleep.
however, extreme sleepiness, whether day time or night time, comes at a very extreme opportunity cost. instead of gimiking or smokething with friends, sleep can steal the night and turn tonight into tomorrow. instead of being able to check all the things you have to do, the thousand items on your checklist still remain a thousand. instead of playing and frolicking with chorvs or pamangkins, dreamland can be that temptress that steals all these away. it can even push the possible blog entries into the deepest recesses of the mind to nothingness...and i end up with no blogs.
i hope that all the hours i have spent during the week sleeping will enable me to remain awake for all the happy things, even at the price of sucking things up when at work.
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