call it aging or maturing. or materialism. or pagka-mukhang pera.
sometimes i think that wanting money is synonymous to being old. gone were the days when simple free pleasures of playing patintero or agawan base would make someone's day. we are so into consumerism that our being popular or in the loop is determined by the acquisitions we have. be it laptops, cameras, i-touch, i-phones, mac laptops, capacity to eat in posh restaurants, having glorious flushes in the bathroom or perfectly shiny tiled floors in shower areas.
yes, these are the things that my comrades and i dream about. things that our non med friends are able to purchase at as single whim. whereas or other RICH friends can just go to the mall when they want to and swipe a card to get their heart's desire and a shopping high, my friends and i would often just stare, green with envy, and wish that "sana mayaman na ako para makakain na ako ng sushi when i want."
when will this time come, i wonder?
case in point. yesterday, when i was walking home in the poverty stricken streets of maria orosa, SAFM then asks my advice about buying an I-touch...a craze in his batch as of yet. call this a last hurrah given that they will be receiving the last remnants of their hard earned salary in the next month. call it the voice of uncertainty given that they will be entering the world of fellowship where the shriek of "fictitious sweldo!" or "wala na akong pera!" reverberate through the halls.
as such, i gave him this advice:
SIU: SAFM, buy buy buy. by this time next year, you won't have any money left, and you'll REGRET not buying it. besides, would you not want to feel the high of buying something and then making it haplos? why do you want to buy the i-touch anyway?
SAFM: because its...so beautiful (with lust in his eyes)
SIU: buy buy buy! do you want me to come with you to buy it?
SAFM: (look of hesitation) won't i regret that i spent my money?
so fine. he didn't buy it.
fast forward to today, i take a look at him with such inggit in his eyes, looking at google pages evaluating the i-touch and dreeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaming about it.
and then he goes:
SAFM: if i have two gigabytes of storage, i don't have to erase songs for days on end. and pam bought one. should i buy one?
get it over and done with, SAFM. buy buy buy. then let me go with you to buy it so that i can get my vicarious thrills!
what the Helelelelell is stopping you?
Friday, November 26, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
chooooooooooooorva
reviewing my blogs, i find that ALL MY BLOGS reflect negativity.
however, on self introspection, i note that i have indeed MADE it because i find FAKING it has been scoring lower than the MAKING it in that imaginary scoreboard i have in my head.
and it's because of (here it comes, for more cheeeeze!) chorvs.
i never though i would cross over to the point of highly recommending it, but i do.
don't get me wrong. it still give me goosebumps of eeew blogging about this, given that i used to be such a negativist in this aspect. however, though i didn't believe that it could happen to me, it did. hence, if it happened to me, it can happen to anyone. i guess the race to five is more worthwhile given that i could spend it with friends, but having chorvs to spend it with further increases the motivation. for reasons unexplained, things i used to think defined me took the back seat. career just became career (ok fine, i may be fibbing a bit), and weekends became more valueable than gold. thanks to chorvs. (thanks chorvs!)
hence, i now practice the art of convincing a real good friend of mine to join the bandwagon. but i am failing miserably.
chorvs always tells me that everything comes at the perfect time. perfect timing.
so to you, dear friend, who says yes, but non verbally says no, maybe it is not yet your time.
but i patiently await the time when i will see you giddy giddy giddy. with chorva! (refer back to your blog with chorva and the japanese people.)
go na kasi!
however, on self introspection, i note that i have indeed MADE it because i find FAKING it has been scoring lower than the MAKING it in that imaginary scoreboard i have in my head.
and it's because of (here it comes, for more cheeeeze!) chorvs.
i never though i would cross over to the point of highly recommending it, but i do.
don't get me wrong. it still give me goosebumps of eeew blogging about this, given that i used to be such a negativist in this aspect. however, though i didn't believe that it could happen to me, it did. hence, if it happened to me, it can happen to anyone. i guess the race to five is more worthwhile given that i could spend it with friends, but having chorvs to spend it with further increases the motivation. for reasons unexplained, things i used to think defined me took the back seat. career just became career (ok fine, i may be fibbing a bit), and weekends became more valueable than gold. thanks to chorvs. (thanks chorvs!)
hence, i now practice the art of convincing a real good friend of mine to join the bandwagon. but i am failing miserably.
chorvs always tells me that everything comes at the perfect time. perfect timing.
so to you, dear friend, who says yes, but non verbally says no, maybe it is not yet your time.
but i patiently await the time when i will see you giddy giddy giddy. with chorva! (refer back to your blog with chorva and the japanese people.)
go na kasi!
angst
same people change over a span of years. imagine being friends with people for close to 10 years. one is bound to see change.
let me illustrate. this month has been life saving for me as i rotate in the intense but caring units of the hospital. (get a clue.) we intensely care for sick patients, but it has been positively providential for me to be in this environment because i find myself in the daily company of two of my closest competitor friends, namely SAFM (in the flesh! i think we should rename him as HT for hearth-throb) and Mrs G3. through rounds with patients can get gruelling and at times exasperating, there is always a point of comfort when i would sit down to write in the charts and be accompanied by these two friends of mine. i could just close my eyes and pretend that we are al still in our med uniforms fussing about age old med school concerns. the usual opening lines early in the morning that come from them are the ff:
SAFM: lur?
Mrs G3: o anong kwento?
All together now: ayoko na pumasok! nakakatamad pumasok!
this is so reminiscent of all the years we spent from the anatomy lab to the patho lab to classes in 222 or endless hours of monitoring. however, over the years, i have noticed the decay that we all went through. yes, we matured. our concerns changed. Mrs G3 is now G3 and SAFM is a responsible doctor son on top of being a heart throb. however, i have noticed that all our exchanges are peppered by fury on top of fury on top of FURY.
case in point:
1. blalalablalalala. he talks to much. argh!
2. i don't know why, but X had no referrals. Y had no referrals. Z had no referrals. when i was on duty, i had so many referrals! wah!
3. ang daldal ng babae sa jeep, nakakabingi!
4. nakakainis ang baha!
5. sana bumagyo bukas, para walang pasok!
6. lang hiyang meeting yan. iniwan ko tuloy ang sisig ko sa baba.
so much angst. but on the outside, we still make panggap that we are still those happy go lucky people that we once were.
is this the price of aging, of being surrounded by pooooooooorita people? or always being at the receiving end of the neediest beings of the universe?
i haven't the slightest clue.
i wish back for the days when our problem was who would take the weekend duty or who would be assigned to compile those transcriptions for class.
and for more angst: THOSE DAYS ARE LONG GONE.
wallow. it's a good thing that the three of us can wallow together.
let me illustrate. this month has been life saving for me as i rotate in the intense but caring units of the hospital. (get a clue.) we intensely care for sick patients, but it has been positively providential for me to be in this environment because i find myself in the daily company of two of my closest competitor friends, namely SAFM (in the flesh! i think we should rename him as HT for hearth-throb) and Mrs G3. through rounds with patients can get gruelling and at times exasperating, there is always a point of comfort when i would sit down to write in the charts and be accompanied by these two friends of mine. i could just close my eyes and pretend that we are al still in our med uniforms fussing about age old med school concerns. the usual opening lines early in the morning that come from them are the ff:
SAFM: lur?
Mrs G3: o anong kwento?
All together now: ayoko na pumasok! nakakatamad pumasok!
this is so reminiscent of all the years we spent from the anatomy lab to the patho lab to classes in 222 or endless hours of monitoring. however, over the years, i have noticed the decay that we all went through. yes, we matured. our concerns changed. Mrs G3 is now G3 and SAFM is a responsible doctor son on top of being a heart throb. however, i have noticed that all our exchanges are peppered by fury on top of fury on top of FURY.
case in point:
1. blalalablalalala. he talks to much. argh!
2. i don't know why, but X had no referrals. Y had no referrals. Z had no referrals. when i was on duty, i had so many referrals! wah!
3. ang daldal ng babae sa jeep, nakakabingi!
4. nakakainis ang baha!
5. sana bumagyo bukas, para walang pasok!
6. lang hiyang meeting yan. iniwan ko tuloy ang sisig ko sa baba.
so much angst. but on the outside, we still make panggap that we are still those happy go lucky people that we once were.
is this the price of aging, of being surrounded by pooooooooorita people? or always being at the receiving end of the neediest beings of the universe?
i haven't the slightest clue.
i wish back for the days when our problem was who would take the weekend duty or who would be assigned to compile those transcriptions for class.
and for more angst: THOSE DAYS ARE LONG GONE.
wallow. it's a good thing that the three of us can wallow together.
google got it all!
last friday, i was busy (as in hyper mode) cramming for an assignment that was given to us about diuretics (drugs that make you pee) and different info about them. as usual, i counted on my cramming powers to complete the assignment along with our pharmacology text. however, when i wanted information as fast as the eye could blink, i resorted to google. and thanks to this magic page, i finished the homework in the nick of time. the time was so "nicked", in fact, that i was able to pass the homework at 1153 pm (or so my colleagues said) when the deadline was at 1155 pm. hahahaha. thanks to the support of certain people, (you know who you are!) for cheering me on.
i digress, though, from the main topic of this blog. SAFM and i were discussing how i could have gotten through the entire exercise of completing the assignment if internet were not yet available. i nonchalantly answer "card catalog!" but thank goodness, we don't have to resort to archaic (and asthma inducing) tiny drawers of the card catalog or migraine-inducing numbers of the dewey decimal system, thanks to google.
i mean, facebook is really a great invention, but i think google outdoes facebook by a mile! to illustrate, here are the various uses of google that were really life changing for me.
1. as mentioned, my pharma assignment.
2.
back in senior year, people were so into calorie counting for an impending fashion show we were to have at the time. (advertising, please watch the doctor is in the runway, sunday december 28!) here is an exchange a batchmate and i had.
enj: (while eating a banana coming from a piling in the callroom. pf banana.) ilan kaya ang calories ng saging.
SIU: we can always google it! (googles away, types while saying out loud...) how many calories are there in a banana?
and this link from google comes up! http://www.weightlossforall.com/calories-banana.htm AMAZING!
3.
endless mp3 searching and downloading for ipod music appreciation and sentihan purposes.
4.
of course, there are endless EBM things we have to do wherein we start from a clinical scenario and then proceed to search for an article to answer the clinical question that we have. however, many of my friends would know that i would EBM the SIU way with the following steps:
a. google for an article. for example, if i want to write on comparison between naproxen and mefenamic acid, i could probably use the search term through google: naproxen mefenamic acid full text free article.
b. click and download article
c. THEN create a clinical question
d. and EBM backwards
e. THEN go to pubmed and use the search terms so that the article i initially googled would come up in the search page!
smart eh?
5.
real life needs:
this conversation ensues between TOE (term of endearment) and me.
TOE: (sun cellular call) TOE, i have a favor to ask, pero it's quite nakakahiya. (sosyal!)
SIU: ano yun? game na.
TOE: i need to make a phone call, but i ran out of load. okay lang papasa load sa sun?
SIU: huh? ok sure. pano gawin yun?
TOE: oh no, di ko alam.
SIU: ok, will call sun customer service and find out. (Calls customer service, puuuuuuuuuuure tagal. light bulb idea: we can use google! types in while saying out load) pasa load through sun cellular.
and this site comes up: http://www.rechargemobilephones.com/ph/sun-cellular/sun-give-a-load/.
so my websites of choice, in order of priority, are as follows:
1. google.
2. facebook: for stalking and updating oneself. as a wise friend said, why read the newspaper, when you can read THE WALL?
3. yout tube for entertainment.
4. wikipedia. if i want to sound smart.
thank god we don't have to resort to the flinstonian card catalog anymore.
i digress, though, from the main topic of this blog. SAFM and i were discussing how i could have gotten through the entire exercise of completing the assignment if internet were not yet available. i nonchalantly answer "card catalog!" but thank goodness, we don't have to resort to archaic (and asthma inducing) tiny drawers of the card catalog or migraine-inducing numbers of the dewey decimal system, thanks to google.
i mean, facebook is really a great invention, but i think google outdoes facebook by a mile! to illustrate, here are the various uses of google that were really life changing for me.
1. as mentioned, my pharma assignment.
2.
back in senior year, people were so into calorie counting for an impending fashion show we were to have at the time. (advertising, please watch the doctor is in the runway, sunday december 28!) here is an exchange a batchmate and i had.
enj: (while eating a banana coming from a piling in the callroom. pf banana.) ilan kaya ang calories ng saging.
SIU: we can always google it! (googles away, types while saying out loud...) how many calories are there in a banana?
and this link from google comes up! http://www.weightlossforall.com/calories-banana.htm AMAZING!
3.
endless mp3 searching and downloading for ipod music appreciation and sentihan purposes.
4.
of course, there are endless EBM things we have to do wherein we start from a clinical scenario and then proceed to search for an article to answer the clinical question that we have. however, many of my friends would know that i would EBM the SIU way with the following steps:
a. google for an article. for example, if i want to write on comparison between naproxen and mefenamic acid, i could probably use the search term through google: naproxen mefenamic acid full text free article.
b. click and download article
c. THEN create a clinical question
d. and EBM backwards
e. THEN go to pubmed and use the search terms so that the article i initially googled would come up in the search page!
smart eh?
5.
real life needs:
this conversation ensues between TOE (term of endearment) and me.
TOE: (sun cellular call) TOE, i have a favor to ask, pero it's quite nakakahiya. (sosyal!)
SIU: ano yun? game na.
TOE: i need to make a phone call, but i ran out of load. okay lang papasa load sa sun?
SIU: huh? ok sure. pano gawin yun?
TOE: oh no, di ko alam.
SIU: ok, will call sun customer service and find out. (Calls customer service, puuuuuuuuuuure tagal. light bulb idea: we can use google! types in while saying out load) pasa load through sun cellular.
and this site comes up: http://www.rechargemobilephones.com/ph/sun-cellular/sun-give-a-load/.
so my websites of choice, in order of priority, are as follows:
1. google.
2. facebook: for stalking and updating oneself. as a wise friend said, why read the newspaper, when you can read THE WALL?
3. yout tube for entertainment.
4. wikipedia. if i want to sound smart.
thank god we don't have to resort to the flinstonian card catalog anymore.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
i am so hhhhhhhhhhhhonored!
let me tell you about this friend of mine. i have this friend of almost 10 years now, and i honestly think that he is the best writer in the world. i followed a lot of his literature from facebook...to blogspot....to philippine free press....to philippine star. i ogled at his ability to come up with the greatest literary masterpieces with a flourish (drumroll please!) at lightning speed.
at the same time, i find myself in awe that we have grown up together. yes, in the past, he always fantasized about having that bat signal in his lowly, run-down apartment so that he can flash it when he runs out or rice to eat to his next door neighbor. he used to be real quiet, and would not make eye contact with anyone, even if some small eye contact would have meant that he would have probably landed the 21st slot!
but now, have you heard about the statement the baby is now a lady? ok, di naman siya bading. people stalk him, his blogs, etc. he is now known all over the planet as the senior resident who carries a bag. what a status symbol! and he still mingles with me! a low life! and what's more, he never says no this invite: (beep beep of text message!) lur?
imagine the feeling of honor i had, when this best writer i know said these words: can i feature your blog? i think it has enough content and wit to warrant a feature.
aw. talk about mutual admiration society. well, we do have to find ways to be validated. even if he may be patronizing me a bit. thanks special agent!
i am so hhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrred!
at the same time, i find myself in awe that we have grown up together. yes, in the past, he always fantasized about having that bat signal in his lowly, run-down apartment so that he can flash it when he runs out or rice to eat to his next door neighbor. he used to be real quiet, and would not make eye contact with anyone, even if some small eye contact would have meant that he would have probably landed the 21st slot!
but now, have you heard about the statement the baby is now a lady? ok, di naman siya bading. people stalk him, his blogs, etc. he is now known all over the planet as the senior resident who carries a bag. what a status symbol! and he still mingles with me! a low life! and what's more, he never says no this invite: (beep beep of text message!) lur?
imagine the feeling of honor i had, when this best writer i know said these words: can i feature your blog? i think it has enough content and wit to warrant a feature.
aw. talk about mutual admiration society. well, we do have to find ways to be validated. even if he may be patronizing me a bit. thanks special agent!
i am so hhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrred!
heart-wrenching humor, lacrimous laughter
thanks to the procrastination gene embedded in my body, i find myself reading the blogs of my closest facetime friends when i should be doing my diuretic homewor. i find a common theme magnetizing me to each of the entries in each of the blogs of my facetime friends. it is the heart-wrenching humor, and the lacrimous laughter. i empathize with them all. though the words are different, the recurrent theme is the same. dissatisfaction.
let me elaborate by this topic sentence. i messaged a dear friend of mine: the sad thing about our life is that i think we can do anything and be anywhere, good or bad, as long as we have good company to have these happy or irritating things with. as long as we have our comic index friends 24-7, we are okay. sadly, as of now, this is not the case.
hence, i can identify with them all. BOTD. HTGOF. SAFM. i love you all. (cheeziness.)
it is amazing how we find the littlest things to dissect and blog about to add interest to our lives. but in a way, it is pretty therapeutic. it puts things into perspective. sure, there are sad things in the world such as being screamed at, being inadequate, a patient dying, etc. things we have no control over.
but there are the humorous things that can push us by and let us survive the to the end of the day. weirdly named people. talks about impending blind dates. the clamor for couple-hood for my now grown up and heart throb friend. how one voltage, when it is gigantic can have more sips in them that the tiny voltage making you actually want to buy the big one. how facetime is so interesing especially when your company laughs so loud that he snorts and actually pushes you to ask "what?" and you share webpages and laugh together. out loud. or how a sun cellular cell call from far away about nothingness actually perks up your day. how those loud koryans provide two seconds of silence as a patibong into you thinking that they actually shut up and then they rush into more loud, gurgly, koryan speech that makes you want to open an umbrella and take cover. how you make small talk with that guy who takes the best seat in the coffee shop (because it is the one closest to the sockets) and actually make a new friend because he notices that you are probably med students (ah, flattery!) and share a bit of each others lives. how the new friend looks like chorvs (according to SAFM), no wonder there is that little kilig factor in the small exchange. (i think i hear vomiting now.) how there is a possiblity of an impending cultural delight that goes beyond musical appreciation classes through ipods and computers. yes, let us watch something cultural at CCP before the current batch of seniors graduate.
these are the things i miss in the work place. maybe this is why i always have the amazing race to five pm. for these useless things that will open up my fantasy world outside being a workhorse in the biggest public hospital in the country. where i am the lowliest servant to the poorest of the poor, even when in my heart of hearts, i want to become rich!
to conclude, this blog is dedicated to you, BOTD. it is the same all over. whether you are here in the shore. or whether you are abroad. it is the same all over. at least we can all race to five pm and rush to our cyber world and laugh together. we aren't really gone. we are just a click away. aww.
cue: all together now! teardrop. ahahahahahahahaha! for more bipolarity. lithium please!
let me elaborate by this topic sentence. i messaged a dear friend of mine: the sad thing about our life is that i think we can do anything and be anywhere, good or bad, as long as we have good company to have these happy or irritating things with. as long as we have our comic index friends 24-7, we are okay. sadly, as of now, this is not the case.
hence, i can identify with them all. BOTD. HTGOF. SAFM. i love you all. (cheeziness.)
it is amazing how we find the littlest things to dissect and blog about to add interest to our lives. but in a way, it is pretty therapeutic. it puts things into perspective. sure, there are sad things in the world such as being screamed at, being inadequate, a patient dying, etc. things we have no control over.
but there are the humorous things that can push us by and let us survive the to the end of the day. weirdly named people. talks about impending blind dates. the clamor for couple-hood for my now grown up and heart throb friend. how one voltage, when it is gigantic can have more sips in them that the tiny voltage making you actually want to buy the big one. how facetime is so interesing especially when your company laughs so loud that he snorts and actually pushes you to ask "what?" and you share webpages and laugh together. out loud. or how a sun cellular cell call from far away about nothingness actually perks up your day. how those loud koryans provide two seconds of silence as a patibong into you thinking that they actually shut up and then they rush into more loud, gurgly, koryan speech that makes you want to open an umbrella and take cover. how you make small talk with that guy who takes the best seat in the coffee shop (because it is the one closest to the sockets) and actually make a new friend because he notices that you are probably med students (ah, flattery!) and share a bit of each others lives. how the new friend looks like chorvs (according to SAFM), no wonder there is that little kilig factor in the small exchange. (i think i hear vomiting now.) how there is a possiblity of an impending cultural delight that goes beyond musical appreciation classes through ipods and computers. yes, let us watch something cultural at CCP before the current batch of seniors graduate.
these are the things i miss in the work place. maybe this is why i always have the amazing race to five pm. for these useless things that will open up my fantasy world outside being a workhorse in the biggest public hospital in the country. where i am the lowliest servant to the poorest of the poor, even when in my heart of hearts, i want to become rich!
to conclude, this blog is dedicated to you, BOTD. it is the same all over. whether you are here in the shore. or whether you are abroad. it is the same all over. at least we can all race to five pm and rush to our cyber world and laugh together. we aren't really gone. we are just a click away. aww.
cue: all together now! teardrop. ahahahahahahahaha! for more bipolarity. lithium please!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
two categories of ranting receivers
ranting is such a part of daily life. other people view it as a chore. or something nega. or sinful even.
pardon me readers, but this is one person who views ranting as completely delicious. and free! one can indulge in continuous ranting day after day and be envigorated by it. especially when rants on top of rants are present in a conversation that there is a confusion regarding what rant is the topic sentence anyway. then you have a delicious, delectable web of rants to die for...and to get chismis from, as a secondary objective.
however, i have learned in this during the recent year. in order for ranting to be incredibly delicious, heartwarming and cathartic, one most rant to the proper person. as i so simply categorize rant receivers, i find that i must be in the company of number 1 and NOT number 2.
1. PRR: posi rant receivers. these are the people whom you'd want to rant with the best. in my case, this can be chorvs, my high comic index facetime friends at geej, competitiors who lost at canteen, or my pal ler friends at apl. these are the people who listen deliciously at the barrage of words lost in translation in the pure high-ness of the rant, who utter exactly the right words when you want to, and who just laugh in the proper pauses thereby resulting in the release of all the negatively pent up energy and provides you with the positive energy that you need to go through the entire day. they season your ranting with such wit that they are worthy of being chronicled on blogspot walls. they are the ones who rant back and cause you to laugh at their misfortunes which put your misfortunes into perspective. and they don't take offense. and you laugh your heart out causing more rush of endorphins and then cycles on to more ranting. ah, the beautiful ranting cycle.
2. NRR: nega rant receivers. these are the emotional vampires who make gatong and make you feel worse / more guilty / or lower than fungus than when you started. you start to deliciously rant away and they give you bad looks. or they say "ah wala yan, ako...rant rant rant" thereby stealing the precious spotlight away from you. you are then forced to keep your ranting within you and top it off with more ranting regarding these NRRs in the planet. hence, ranting cycle broken. sad.
therefore. advice: always rant to PRR. because your rantings, which was just like say, delicious leche flan at the start, will transmogrify into say...a spirals buffet. which will make you want to rant more. and better yet, it's free!
rant away on my comment wall!
pardon me readers, but this is one person who views ranting as completely delicious. and free! one can indulge in continuous ranting day after day and be envigorated by it. especially when rants on top of rants are present in a conversation that there is a confusion regarding what rant is the topic sentence anyway. then you have a delicious, delectable web of rants to die for...and to get chismis from, as a secondary objective.
however, i have learned in this during the recent year. in order for ranting to be incredibly delicious, heartwarming and cathartic, one most rant to the proper person. as i so simply categorize rant receivers, i find that i must be in the company of number 1 and NOT number 2.
1. PRR: posi rant receivers. these are the people whom you'd want to rant with the best. in my case, this can be chorvs, my high comic index facetime friends at geej, competitiors who lost at canteen, or my pal ler friends at apl. these are the people who listen deliciously at the barrage of words lost in translation in the pure high-ness of the rant, who utter exactly the right words when you want to, and who just laugh in the proper pauses thereby resulting in the release of all the negatively pent up energy and provides you with the positive energy that you need to go through the entire day. they season your ranting with such wit that they are worthy of being chronicled on blogspot walls. they are the ones who rant back and cause you to laugh at their misfortunes which put your misfortunes into perspective. and they don't take offense. and you laugh your heart out causing more rush of endorphins and then cycles on to more ranting. ah, the beautiful ranting cycle.
2. NRR: nega rant receivers. these are the emotional vampires who make gatong and make you feel worse / more guilty / or lower than fungus than when you started. you start to deliciously rant away and they give you bad looks. or they say "ah wala yan, ako...rant rant rant" thereby stealing the precious spotlight away from you. you are then forced to keep your ranting within you and top it off with more ranting regarding these NRRs in the planet. hence, ranting cycle broken. sad.
therefore. advice: always rant to PRR. because your rantings, which was just like say, delicious leche flan at the start, will transmogrify into say...a spirals buffet. which will make you want to rant more. and better yet, it's free!
rant away on my comment wall!
sleepeth
have been out of the loop for a while because i have not connected to internet since last week. i have spent most of my good time sleeping. ah, sleep!
i am a true and honest believer of the curative powers of sleep. wherever you are. whether it is in a moving vehicle and you are rushing to work from house. the rush disappears...when you sleep. when you have a thousand things to do and you feel sleepy, the things you do disappear (for the meantime)...when you sleep. when you are sick, all the phlegm and feeling of tiredness disappears (all together now!)...when you sleep.
however, extreme sleepiness, whether day time or night time, comes at a very extreme opportunity cost. instead of gimiking or smokething with friends, sleep can steal the night and turn tonight into tomorrow. instead of being able to check all the things you have to do, the thousand items on your checklist still remain a thousand. instead of playing and frolicking with chorvs or pamangkins, dreamland can be that temptress that steals all these away. it can even push the possible blog entries into the deepest recesses of the mind to nothingness...and i end up with no blogs.
i hope that all the hours i have spent during the week sleeping will enable me to remain awake for all the happy things, even at the price of sucking things up when at work.
i am a true and honest believer of the curative powers of sleep. wherever you are. whether it is in a moving vehicle and you are rushing to work from house. the rush disappears...when you sleep. when you have a thousand things to do and you feel sleepy, the things you do disappear (for the meantime)...when you sleep. when you are sick, all the phlegm and feeling of tiredness disappears (all together now!)...when you sleep.
however, extreme sleepiness, whether day time or night time, comes at a very extreme opportunity cost. instead of gimiking or smokething with friends, sleep can steal the night and turn tonight into tomorrow. instead of being able to check all the things you have to do, the thousand items on your checklist still remain a thousand. instead of playing and frolicking with chorvs or pamangkins, dreamland can be that temptress that steals all these away. it can even push the possible blog entries into the deepest recesses of the mind to nothingness...and i end up with no blogs.
i hope that all the hours i have spent during the week sleeping will enable me to remain awake for all the happy things, even at the price of sucking things up when at work.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
zero comments
one of the glorious things about this day and age is internet access. okay, and maybe SMS. imagine, being stuck in solitary confinement, one finds solace in finding a free wifi signal or a sun signal. the social animal may appear quiet on the outside, but on the inside very involved with other people's lives via facebook and other social networks. i am that social animal.
i get an endorphin rush every time my facebook page lights up with those red notifications, an indirect way of me finding out and (pathetically) affirming that i am indeed popular. popular enough to get "comments" or "likes" from other people. i refresh my FB home page again and again, waiting for those little blue boxes to float in on the lower left hand corner of my profile page. i refresh the home page again and again, wanting to find out who did who by the second, not missing the latest bit of news. all in the comfort of a coffee shop, the dungeon or my room. i guess this is reflected by the weird, lost smile on my face (similar in fact to the smile of people who are high on drugs) which i don't realize i have.
this feeling was magnified when i started my blog. imagine my two closest blog friends say "more! more!" in less than a week after the genesis of my beloved page "suck it up!"
imagine my feeling of sadness when i checked a colleague's blog. i feverishly scrolled down only to find two very devastating words punctuating each of the entries.
zero comments.
zero comments.
zero comments.
zero comments.
zero comments.
zero comments.
oh well, you get the picture.
and i tell you, for all the rantings in my life that i have, i would not want to be in his shoes.
friends, this is your cue. comment away!
i get an endorphin rush every time my facebook page lights up with those red notifications, an indirect way of me finding out and (pathetically) affirming that i am indeed popular. popular enough to get "comments" or "likes" from other people. i refresh my FB home page again and again, waiting for those little blue boxes to float in on the lower left hand corner of my profile page. i refresh the home page again and again, wanting to find out who did who by the second, not missing the latest bit of news. all in the comfort of a coffee shop, the dungeon or my room. i guess this is reflected by the weird, lost smile on my face (similar in fact to the smile of people who are high on drugs) which i don't realize i have.
this feeling was magnified when i started my blog. imagine my two closest blog friends say "more! more!" in less than a week after the genesis of my beloved page "suck it up!"
imagine my feeling of sadness when i checked a colleague's blog. i feverishly scrolled down only to find two very devastating words punctuating each of the entries.
zero comments.
zero comments.
zero comments.
zero comments.
zero comments.
zero comments.
oh well, you get the picture.
and i tell you, for all the rantings in my life that i have, i would not want to be in his shoes.
friends, this is your cue. comment away!
fake it til you make it
happiness is elusive.
it is a state of being. or maybe a state of mind. a decision. but during good days, it just flows without any effort, making me want to laugh out loud without stopping. sad to say, the flowing days of happiness are few and far between right now. i don't know if it's because of the sad weather, or the monotony of stuff.
given this, i have come to this conclusion: i find that it is finding things to look forward to that can make one happy. it that sense, happiness then becomes a goal. when you get certain things, one is happy. to cope, i must make these happiness goals smaller in order to have small bits of fake happiness that then become real happiness. i guess that old piece of advice is true: when you smile often enough, your body begins to believe that you are indeed happy...and you become happy. faking it til you make it.
so, for all the people out there... here are my little happy techniques that might help you when you feel like you want to clobber everyone around you and shout GALMA to every living molecule that passes you by. they are tried and tested, and today, worked for me very well.
1. eat endlessly. food trip. ah. food!
2. skype with chorvs. mala OFW. i tried that today and it was indeed fun. i could not stop giggling (which special agent, i am sure, found very cheezy and nakakadiri!), kolehiyala style. even i found it embarrasing.
3. lur. need i say more?
4. plan a long trip and look forward to it more and more.
5. blog away. and away. and away some more.
6. make a list of things you have to do and check it one by one. i don't know if this applies to you, but i feel a certain sense of (waith for it!) happiness every time i check a little tick box beside a "thing to do."
7. facebook. or facetime for more stalking. with friends who are far away and maybe are a tad bit more unhappy than you.
8. telebabad. high school style. with chorvs is highly recommended. sun cellular isn't so bad either.
9. play with all the emoticons in the planet.
10. waste time. in coffee shop. with lur. and special agent.
11. go home by five pm from the hospital. ensures less doctoring time and more chorva time.
12. eat ice cream. especially when it's free.
13. be a crab. think of ways i am better than other people. even if in real life it doesn't count.
14. hunt for fellow lurrers. they are all over.
15. laugh at really bad writers. who are stuck at hidden dungeons.
16. sip free coffee that you didn't buy. especially when it's iced down and diluted and really cold.
17. sleepeth.
18. dream of winning 400 million pesos in the lotto and never having to work again.
i want to say that i am really deep, and that these things will change the universe. but they will not. they will just give temporary reprieves from all the mistakes we face in the clinics. but then again, maybe it is these little things that are infinintely more important, than say, helping mankind with the art of medicine. because in the end, these little things are the things that make you want to wake up in the morning and do them all over again. for more pointlessness. maybe happiness is because you do the things for their intrinsic value, even when they seem pointless. besides, things with a point, at this point (no pun intended) are really not that much fun anyway.
i guess i am still in the process of faking it until now. however, it's not really the making it part that will count. if making it will be easy, then life would be too boring. we can't have that now, can we?
it is a state of being. or maybe a state of mind. a decision. but during good days, it just flows without any effort, making me want to laugh out loud without stopping. sad to say, the flowing days of happiness are few and far between right now. i don't know if it's because of the sad weather, or the monotony of stuff.
given this, i have come to this conclusion: i find that it is finding things to look forward to that can make one happy. it that sense, happiness then becomes a goal. when you get certain things, one is happy. to cope, i must make these happiness goals smaller in order to have small bits of fake happiness that then become real happiness. i guess that old piece of advice is true: when you smile often enough, your body begins to believe that you are indeed happy...and you become happy. faking it til you make it.
so, for all the people out there... here are my little happy techniques that might help you when you feel like you want to clobber everyone around you and shout GALMA to every living molecule that passes you by. they are tried and tested, and today, worked for me very well.
1. eat endlessly. food trip. ah. food!
2. skype with chorvs. mala OFW. i tried that today and it was indeed fun. i could not stop giggling (which special agent, i am sure, found very cheezy and nakakadiri!), kolehiyala style. even i found it embarrasing.
3. lur. need i say more?
4. plan a long trip and look forward to it more and more.
5. blog away. and away. and away some more.
6. make a list of things you have to do and check it one by one. i don't know if this applies to you, but i feel a certain sense of (waith for it!) happiness every time i check a little tick box beside a "thing to do."
7. facebook. or facetime for more stalking. with friends who are far away and maybe are a tad bit more unhappy than you.
8. telebabad. high school style. with chorvs is highly recommended. sun cellular isn't so bad either.
9. play with all the emoticons in the planet.
10. waste time. in coffee shop. with lur. and special agent.
11. go home by five pm from the hospital. ensures less doctoring time and more chorva time.
12. eat ice cream. especially when it's free.
13. be a crab. think of ways i am better than other people. even if in real life it doesn't count.
14. hunt for fellow lurrers. they are all over.
15. laugh at really bad writers. who are stuck at hidden dungeons.
16. sip free coffee that you didn't buy. especially when it's iced down and diluted and really cold.
17. sleepeth.
18. dream of winning 400 million pesos in the lotto and never having to work again.
i want to say that i am really deep, and that these things will change the universe. but they will not. they will just give temporary reprieves from all the mistakes we face in the clinics. but then again, maybe it is these little things that are infinintely more important, than say, helping mankind with the art of medicine. because in the end, these little things are the things that make you want to wake up in the morning and do them all over again. for more pointlessness. maybe happiness is because you do the things for their intrinsic value, even when they seem pointless. besides, things with a point, at this point (no pun intended) are really not that much fun anyway.
i guess i am still in the process of faking it until now. however, it's not really the making it part that will count. if making it will be easy, then life would be too boring. we can't have that now, can we?
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
trial and error
everyday this month has been worse than the previous. i always thought that the Hidden Dungeon was the worst that it could get, however, the merry month of November proved that Murphy's law is indeed true: if something can go wrong, it will. at the worst possible moment.
i always managed to get through life with a smile on my face by generally finding things funny. like laughing when i get eaten alive during case reports. or when i leave THE URN on the seat and forget about it. or smiling like crazy to GALMA people then laughing when they leave. however, the past week, this default laughter when everything goes wrong failed me when i burst into....TEARS! not just one episode, but THREE TEARFUL TIMES at the baranggay health worker's cave.
it's really a good thing that there are all these crazy elves that god must have sent down for my sanity. they gave these wonderful pieces of advice.
1. just do PAL at APL, we can lur anytime you want.
2. don't do your best.
3. you really don't need to quit, you need time off.
4. you can't do anything about it, just walk on by.
5. have a social life. go out with chorvs.
6. suck it up. (hence the name of this blog.) if all else fails, fuck it up. or, fuck!
as a creative outlet, (yet another advice), i was also encouraged to do blogging. hence, here i am. welcome to the wonderful world of blogging.
i always managed to get through life with a smile on my face by generally finding things funny. like laughing when i get eaten alive during case reports. or when i leave THE URN on the seat and forget about it. or smiling like crazy to GALMA people then laughing when they leave. however, the past week, this default laughter when everything goes wrong failed me when i burst into....TEARS! not just one episode, but THREE TEARFUL TIMES at the baranggay health worker's cave.
it's really a good thing that there are all these crazy elves that god must have sent down for my sanity. they gave these wonderful pieces of advice.
1. just do PAL at APL, we can lur anytime you want.
2. don't do your best.
3. you really don't need to quit, you need time off.
4. you can't do anything about it, just walk on by.
5. have a social life. go out with chorvs.
6. suck it up. (hence the name of this blog.) if all else fails, fuck it up. or, fuck!
as a creative outlet, (yet another advice), i was also encouraged to do blogging. hence, here i am. welcome to the wonderful world of blogging.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
reincarnation
this is my first blog post. and i have nothing to write. i have a lot of thoughts. but they are gone now. til next time. :)
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