fake it til you make it

happiness is elusive.

it is a state of being.  or maybe a state of mind.  a decision.  but during good days, it just flows without any effort, making me want to laugh out loud without stopping.  sad to say, the flowing days of happiness are few and far between right now.  i don't know if it's because of the sad weather, or the monotony of stuff.

given this, i have come to this conclusion: i find that it is finding things to look forward to that can make one happy.  it that sense, happiness then becomes a goal.  when you get certain things, one is happy.  to cope, i must make these happiness goals smaller in order to have small bits of fake happiness that then become real happiness.  i guess that old piece of advice is true:  when you smile often  enough, your body begins to believe that you are indeed happy...and you become happy.  faking it til you make it.

so, for all the people out there... here are my little happy techniques that might help you when you feel like you want to clobber everyone around you and shout GALMA to every living molecule that passes you by.  they are tried and tested, and today, worked for me very well.

1.  eat endlessly.  food trip.  ah.  food!
2.  skype with chorvs.  mala OFW.  i tried that today and it was indeed fun.  i could not stop giggling (which special agent, i am sure, found very cheezy and nakakadiri!), kolehiyala style.  even i found it embarrasing. 
3.  lur.  need i say  more?
4.  plan a long trip and look forward to it more and more.
5. blog away.  and away.  and away some more.
6.  make a list of things you have to do and check it one by one.  i don't know if this applies to you, but i feel a certain sense of (waith for it!) happiness every time i check a little tick box beside a "thing to do."
7. facebook.  or facetime for more stalking.  with friends who are far away and maybe are a tad bit more unhappy than you.
8.  telebabad.  high school style.  with chorvs is highly recommended.  sun cellular isn't so bad either.
9.  play with all the emoticons in the planet. 
10.  waste time.  in coffee shop.  with lur.  and special agent.
11.  go home by five pm from the hospital.  ensures less doctoring time and more chorva time.
12.  eat ice cream.  especially when it's free.
13.  be a crab.  think of ways i am better than other people.  even if in real life it doesn't count.
14.  hunt for fellow lurrers.  they are all over.
15.  laugh at really bad writers.  who are stuck at hidden dungeons.
16.  sip free coffee that you didn't buy.  especially when it's iced down and diluted and really cold.
17.  sleepeth.
18.  dream of winning 400 million pesos in the lotto and never having to work again.

i want to say that i am really deep, and that these things will change the universe.  but they will not.  they will just give temporary reprieves from all the mistakes we face in the clinics.  but then again, maybe it is these little things that are infinintely more important, than say, helping mankind with the art of medicine.  because in the end, these little things are the things that make you want to wake up in the morning and do them all over again.  for more pointlessness.  maybe happiness is because you do the things for their intrinsic value, even when they seem pointless.  besides, things with a point, at this point (no pun intended) are really not that much fun anyway.

i guess i am still in the process of faking it until now.  however, it's not really the making it part that will count.  if making it will be easy, then life would be too boring.  we can't have that now, can we?