angst

same people change over a span of years.  imagine being friends with people for close to 10 years.  one is bound to see change.

let me illustrate.  this month has been life saving for me as i rotate in the intense but caring units of the hospital.  (get a clue.)  we intensely care for sick patients, but it has been positively providential for me to be in this environment because i find myself in the daily company of two of my closest competitor friends, namely SAFM (in the flesh!  i think we should rename him as HT for hearth-throb) and Mrs G3.  through rounds with patients can get gruelling and at times exasperating, there is always a point of comfort when i would sit down to write in the charts and be accompanied by these two friends of mine.  i could just close my eyes and pretend that we are al still in our med uniforms fussing about age old med school concerns.  the usual opening lines early in the morning that come from them are the ff:

SAFM: lur?
Mrs G3: o anong kwento?
All together now:  ayoko na pumasok!  nakakatamad pumasok!

this is so reminiscent of all the years we spent from the anatomy lab to the patho lab to classes in 222 or endless hours of monitoring.  however, over the years, i have noticed the decay that we all went through.  yes, we matured.  our concerns changed.  Mrs G3 is now G3 and SAFM is a responsible doctor son on top of being a heart throb.  however, i have noticed that all our exchanges are peppered by fury on top of fury on top of FURY.

case in point:
1.  blalalablalalala.  he talks to much.  argh!
2.  i don't know why, but X had no referrals.  Y had no referrals.  Z had no referrals.  when i was on duty, i had so many referrals!  wah!
3.  ang daldal ng babae sa jeep,  nakakabingi!
4.  nakakainis ang baha!
5.  sana bumagyo bukas, para walang pasok!
6.  lang hiyang meeting yan.  iniwan ko tuloy ang sisig ko sa baba.

so much angst.  but on the outside, we still make panggap that we are still those happy go lucky people that we once were. 

is this the price of aging, of being surrounded by pooooooooorita people?  or always being at the receiving end of the neediest beings of the universe?

i haven't the slightest clue.

i wish back for the days when our problem was who would take the weekend duty or who would be assigned to compile those transcriptions for class.

and for more angst:  THOSE DAYS ARE LONG GONE.

wallow.  it's a good thing that the three of us can wallow together.